Its only 4 weeks away, am I nervous.... erm yep!
I have had an injury the last few weeks since the MK half and am still trying to be 'fit' for the start line on the 21st April. I have been advised that if I make it to the start 98% of people finish... that's all that matters to me this year!
I keep remembering the quote
"Of course it's hard. Its supposed to be hard. if it were easy, everybody would do it. Hard is what makes it great."
- Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks) from 'A League of their own'
So why am I putting myself through this? 3 years ago our family's life changed forever - that may sound dramatic but sadly it does change you as a person and also the family. That's not to say I don't feel we have all come a loooonnnng way since then. I love my little men dearly and feel blessed we went on to have a gorgeous little Samuel, who brightens up our days.
Little Sophie's death sometimes still feels like a dream, the memories of the days blur and the images you retain in your head are lead by the pictures we still have. As with any loved ones who leave our lives, you hold on to all those items/photos that remind you of what you had or could have had. We want more than the photos, I want more...... but sadly, that's it, its all I have. What I really want is my baby girl who would now be 3 years old and just starting nursery school this year, I would have seen her in her Christmas show, her Easter bonnet parade and celebrated 3 birthdays with pink stuff everywhere!
What could we do to help people in our situation.... to be honest not a lot, its cra@ppy and I can take none of the pain or hurt away from them. But I can look forward for them, I would love to give them more to remember their little ones by. I came across hand and foot casting of stillborns through my photography work, I was touched by a lady who had lost her first baby but had the castings when she was at Swindon Hospital. I loved the fact that the castings were so tactile and reflected so well the form and prints of her little ones feet. It felt more real that photographs. I wanted one!!!!!
50% of the money I will raise goes to the materials, training and making of hand and foot castings, making this a free service for
all stillborn children at the
Horton Maternity Hospital.
The Horton Hospital have been fantastically supportive and have loved the idea, Claire (Delivery Suite Manager) and Yolanda (Fundraising project manager) have researched and planned how we proceed with implementing the castings. We are planning a visit to Swindon to see how it works and then use the ideas back in Banbury. I can't wait to have a trial up and running, if we can prove it is viable we hope the Sands group linked to the Hospital will support the project ongoing.
I am blessed that I have been able to be so hands on with exactly where your money will be going and will ensure that it is a success.
30% of the money also goes to
Sands to help support all the other families who rely so heavily on their services after a bereavement.
10% of your money goes to
Macmillan who were so good with helping my own mum, with care when she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2011.
10% goes to an amazing charity, Muscular Dystrophy who fund research to cure this condition and also support families affected by it. Our close friend's son has
Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy which causes progressive muscle weakness. He is an amazing little boy (not so little now!) and currently is fairly fit and healthy..... long may that last. Love you Ethan! xxxx
So that leads us to the answer...... why am I doing this........
why would I not!
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